FETISHES

It is often the case that I will be discussing various fetishes and paraphilias with people and someone will offer a comment along the lines of “I’m really into legs/tits/lips” and while these areas of interest are all well and good, I would not exactly categorize them as “fetishes” because to me, and I think to society in general, fetish means something dark and edgy. I’m sure this idea is merely a product of the society we live in and I will concede that it is entirely possible, even probable, that being into legs is a fetish. However, I want to bring to your attention something beyond the vanilla; I want to talk to you about something I’m calling “fringe fetishes” fetishes that are so obscure that I wonder if the general public even knows about them. Or maybe you, dear reader, are feeling urges that fall within the parameters of the fetishes I’m about list and didn’t know what it was called. In that case, let me set your mind at ease.

1. Plushophilia: I’m sure some of you know of this fetish because of that episode of Entourage where Johnny Drama dresses up as a stuffed animal and fucks that girl, but I like to think there is a bit more to it than that. Plushies or “furverts” as they are sometimes referred to are people who are attracted to stuff animals or people dressed as stuffed animals. This fetish can take the form of the individual masturbating with a stuffed animal to the previously mentioned Entourage scenario. The individual may prefer the ubiquitous stuffed bear or they may prefer something a little more anthropomorphic. This isn’t actually all that weird, because who here can say they didn’t have a little thing for Teddy Ruxpin?

2. Burusera: This is not actually that “out there” for people living in Japan, or at any rate it isn’t as obscure as it is in North America. Burusera essentially a panty (this is the ugliest word in the English language, by the way) fetish. Sure, a lot of people like the look (and feel) of female undergarments, but what separates burusera from this innocuous intrigue is the fact that the whole point of burusera is to buy the underwear of young women—18 and over, but you can get younger, unfortunately—and smell them. In Japan you can actually buy used underwear in vending machines and specialty shops, however, since Japan recently passes a law restricting underwear sales to women over the age of 18, some of the more unsavoury individuals in Japan have taken to paying younger girls to simply lift up their skirts and allow them but a sweet, fleeting whiff of their underwear. This fetish has seen some recent popularity in North America as a simple craigslist search brings up many, many listings of used underwear for sale.

3. Hybristophilia: This fetish, often referred to as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome, involves the attraction to people who have committed gruesome crimes. This could explain why many murderers develop fans and admirers that are sexually attracted to them, without knowing anything about them save for the fact that they have killed someone. To all the ladies out there: I once took two pennies from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray. Think about it.
It doesn’t matter if you want to get sodomized by a Care-Bear, sneak a sniff of some undergarments, or get fresh with an axe-murderer, do whatever makes you happy, regardless of social stigma.