The official title of the Penny Arcade 11.5 year anniversary book is The Splendid Magic of Penny Arcade. However, when the book jacket is removed, a new title is revealed: Penny Arcade: Nearly Twelve Years of Bullshit. The story behind this is that Random House, the publisher of the book, didn’t want a curse word in the title of the book; however Krahulik and Holkins demanded that their title be on the book as well. This, in essence, is precisely what Penny Arcade stands for: not wavering in their convictions when pressured by mainstream sources, and unapologetically being themselves.
I stumbled across Penny Arcade when I was in grade 11 and it immediately appealed to me. Here were two physically unattractive gamers being themselves, making comics that were (and remain) comprised largely of jokes that would only appeal to gamers and seem like non sequiturs to the shamefully uninitiated. Moreover, they performed the seemingly impossible: they united one of the most notoriously fractious groups ever (gamers) under one banner. Operating as their comic doppelgangers, Gabe and Tycho, Krahulik and Holkins called video game developers and publishers, lawmakers, and many, many others out on their bullshit; they even went toe to toe with lunatic anti-game lawyer Jack Thompson and won. In a time where I felt like I didn’t belong, Penny Arcade showed me that there were gamers everywhere who delighted in the dark humor that separated me from my peers and in sharing the fact that they themselves had been picked on during high school, made me—and many others, I’m sure—feel a sense of belonging unbeknownst to me before Penny Arcade came along.
For years, gamers have been reduced to a single stereotype: immature nerds that suffer from acne and live in their mom’s basement and never have sex with anything other than the palms of their hands. Penny Arcade has been dismantling this stereotype of the careless, immature nerd for over twelve years and they have perhaps struck the biggest blow to it with the wild success of their Child’s Play fundraiser, a fundraiser that raises over a million dollars annually, every cent of which goes to children’s hospitals all over the world, supplying children in need of smiles with video games and other toys. It is a testament to not only the luminary power of Krahulik and Holkins, but to the power of a (mostly) united culture of gamers.
Simply put, Penny Arcade: Twelve Years of Bullshit is Penny Arcade’s legacy as it stands. The book begins with Krahulik and Holkins meeting in journalism class in high school and collaborating for the first time. It documents their struggles as a fledgling webcomic, while Krahulik worked at Toys R Us and drew in his spare time and Holkins did tech support for libraries. It showcases their rise to fame and how they never feel complacent, constantly aware that what they have is a blessing that could be withdrawn at any moment. How it will end is anyone’s guess, but I’m sure it will be suitably great.
I will admit that this doesn’t sound especially like a book review, but I assure you that it is. The writing is often hilarious and the comics contained within are some of the duo’s best; the large-format book is lovely and the high quality glossy paper it is printed on is a genuine treat to handle; the Q&A session in which readers sent questions to Krahulik and Holkins to answer is quite illuminating as well. This basic checklist communicates next to nothing about how Penny Arcade affects people, which is really what its primary purpose is. Those who are regular readers of the strip know what I’m talking about and those who aren’t soon will (I hope).
Sunday, June 6, 2010
e-readers are the bomb, etc.
Being an English student, my favorable opinion of e-readers often strikes people as blasphemous and immediately turns me into a turncoat, an enemy of the cause. However, I’ve never been entirely clear on what exactly the cause may be. When my comrades refuse to kneel in front of their lord god Kindle, they are in effect, attempting to fight the future. Not only is that the subtitle of a highly mediocre X-Files movie, it is also an extremely pretentious and sentimental act.
Whenever I sing the praises of the Kindle, people often curl their lips up in disgust/rage. They are mad because, to them, books must be read on paper; they like the feel of it in their hands because it is something substantial; it is a piece of something bigger than them. They also believe that some sort of alchemy occurs between the book and the reader. However, with the revolutionary invention of e-ink, reading a book on the Kindle and reading a book on paper embody a distinction without a difference. Furthermore, larger tomes like Ulysses and War and Peace always weigh the same when you read them on the Kindle and the less physical exertion it takes to do something, the more inclined I am to do it, so that is a definite draw for the professionally lazy. The idea that the intimate relationship between reader and book cannot be duplicated on a digital book is an incredibly opaque notion, for the book and the Kindle are merely vessels through which a message is delivered. That being said, the message is delivered in a far superior way on the Kindle or any other e-reader for that matter.
The reason you would use an e-reader is the same reason you use an iPod. It is convenience itself. Instead of carrying around my CD collection (do people still have those?) or my book collection, it is possible to simply carry a device that stores everything I could ever listen to and everything I could ever read. This definitely comes in handy when traveling and also when going to school. For example, instead of purchasing the physical copy of a novel for class, you can just download it either from Amazon (for money) or use the internet for what it was meant for and get it for free. In fact, the ability to download books for free—if you’re of the pirate persuasion of course—is reason enough to buy an e-reader. If you download music, and I’m sure you do, why not download books?
E-readers are much more than iPod’s for books, though. The Kindle, for instance, is a 3G device and allows the user to use the internet much in the same way one uses a BlackBerry or an iPhone to use the internet. Additionally, merely by highlighting a word with the cursor the Kindle immediately brings up the definition of the highlighted word, saving the user the frustration and tedium of having to consult a physical dictionary; for people (like me) who love words, this is an invaluable feature.
Set aside your sentimentality and pretensions and see e-readers for what they are: the future. You’re not listening to CD’s, you’re not typing assignments on a typewriter, and you’re not watching goddamn LaserDiscs, why are you reading books on paper?
Whenever I sing the praises of the Kindle, people often curl their lips up in disgust/rage. They are mad because, to them, books must be read on paper; they like the feel of it in their hands because it is something substantial; it is a piece of something bigger than them. They also believe that some sort of alchemy occurs between the book and the reader. However, with the revolutionary invention of e-ink, reading a book on the Kindle and reading a book on paper embody a distinction without a difference. Furthermore, larger tomes like Ulysses and War and Peace always weigh the same when you read them on the Kindle and the less physical exertion it takes to do something, the more inclined I am to do it, so that is a definite draw for the professionally lazy. The idea that the intimate relationship between reader and book cannot be duplicated on a digital book is an incredibly opaque notion, for the book and the Kindle are merely vessels through which a message is delivered. That being said, the message is delivered in a far superior way on the Kindle or any other e-reader for that matter.
The reason you would use an e-reader is the same reason you use an iPod. It is convenience itself. Instead of carrying around my CD collection (do people still have those?) or my book collection, it is possible to simply carry a device that stores everything I could ever listen to and everything I could ever read. This definitely comes in handy when traveling and also when going to school. For example, instead of purchasing the physical copy of a novel for class, you can just download it either from Amazon (for money) or use the internet for what it was meant for and get it for free. In fact, the ability to download books for free—if you’re of the pirate persuasion of course—is reason enough to buy an e-reader. If you download music, and I’m sure you do, why not download books?
E-readers are much more than iPod’s for books, though. The Kindle, for instance, is a 3G device and allows the user to use the internet much in the same way one uses a BlackBerry or an iPhone to use the internet. Additionally, merely by highlighting a word with the cursor the Kindle immediately brings up the definition of the highlighted word, saving the user the frustration and tedium of having to consult a physical dictionary; for people (like me) who love words, this is an invaluable feature.
Set aside your sentimentality and pretensions and see e-readers for what they are: the future. You’re not listening to CD’s, you’re not typing assignments on a typewriter, and you’re not watching goddamn LaserDiscs, why are you reading books on paper?
Chuck renewed!!
Well, the apocalypse has been postponed for one more year (at least) since NBC has renewed the best program in the history of television—no, pretentionistas, not The Wire—Chuck. Furthermore, NBC has cancelled the seemingly incurable venereal disease of broadcast television: Heroes. Had Chuck not been renewed and had Heroes not been cancelled, I would have howled into the night sky, my jaw coming unhinged, cracking like a wet gunshot, nine heads of the Lernaean Hydra blossoming out of my mouth like a horrifying flower, devouring everyone on earth body and soul. So, yeah, just in case you were wondering how the world was going to end—that’s how.
I think every Chuck fanboy breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Chuck on NBC’s fall schedule, because last season there was a very public, very long campaign to bring Chuck back for a third season and NBC didn’t cave until late summer, which meant Chuck couldn’t air until midseason, after the Winter Olympics. There was no such bullshit this time around. Sure, fans campaigned using the awesome power of the flash mob, but it was nowhere near the epic proportions of last year’s eleventh hour tactics; tactics that included consuming outrageous amounts of Subway sandwiches.
The details of Chuck’s renewal are a lot like last year’s details in that it has been picked up for 13 episodes with the option to pick up the back nine episodes should the program perform well. This may sound bad but NBC picked up six extra episodes of Chuck this season, which shows that it is possible for the program to air nearly a full season without necessarily being picked up for one. Also, budget cuts were a big issue for the renewal last season, cuts that led to secondary characters being cut out; there were no such cuts during this year’s renewal. The only production change that I’ve heard will happen during Chuck’s fourth season is that the futuristic frozen yogurt shop, the Orange Orange, will now be a Subway. Despite this, I have a feeling Yvonne Strahovski will manage to make the Subway uniform sexy.
Though the move to renew Chuck has healed some of the wounds left by the Jay Leno debacle and the dismal turn Heroes took for the last three seasons has put NBC into my good books, I still they think they have a lot of work to do as a network. However, this work is a double edged sword. Yes, I would like them to take the shit out of their lineup, but without the shit in their lineup, Chuck probably would not have been renewed. The reason for this being that Chuck has only been pulling 5.5 million viewers a night (which is still nearly 1 million higher than Heroes was pulling near the end), which is a low enough rating to get it cancelled by nearly every other broadcast network. I would love to chalk Chuck’s renewal up to the unimpeachable quality of the program, but it is simply because NBC is too weak not to renew it. This is a sad realization, but I’m not one to look a gift peacock in the mouth.
I think every Chuck fanboy breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Chuck on NBC’s fall schedule, because last season there was a very public, very long campaign to bring Chuck back for a third season and NBC didn’t cave until late summer, which meant Chuck couldn’t air until midseason, after the Winter Olympics. There was no such bullshit this time around. Sure, fans campaigned using the awesome power of the flash mob, but it was nowhere near the epic proportions of last year’s eleventh hour tactics; tactics that included consuming outrageous amounts of Subway sandwiches.
The details of Chuck’s renewal are a lot like last year’s details in that it has been picked up for 13 episodes with the option to pick up the back nine episodes should the program perform well. This may sound bad but NBC picked up six extra episodes of Chuck this season, which shows that it is possible for the program to air nearly a full season without necessarily being picked up for one. Also, budget cuts were a big issue for the renewal last season, cuts that led to secondary characters being cut out; there were no such cuts during this year’s renewal. The only production change that I’ve heard will happen during Chuck’s fourth season is that the futuristic frozen yogurt shop, the Orange Orange, will now be a Subway. Despite this, I have a feeling Yvonne Strahovski will manage to make the Subway uniform sexy.
Though the move to renew Chuck has healed some of the wounds left by the Jay Leno debacle and the dismal turn Heroes took for the last three seasons has put NBC into my good books, I still they think they have a lot of work to do as a network. However, this work is a double edged sword. Yes, I would like them to take the shit out of their lineup, but without the shit in their lineup, Chuck probably would not have been renewed. The reason for this being that Chuck has only been pulling 5.5 million viewers a night (which is still nearly 1 million higher than Heroes was pulling near the end), which is a low enough rating to get it cancelled by nearly every other broadcast network. I would love to chalk Chuck’s renewal up to the unimpeachable quality of the program, but it is simply because NBC is too weak not to renew it. This is a sad realization, but I’m not one to look a gift peacock in the mouth.
RULE #34
After spending 40 days and 40 nights on the top of Mount Sinai, Moses was given two stone tablets inscribed with a number of commandments, ten being the most agreed upon number. When Moses descended Mount Sinai only to find his people involved in the sin of the Golden Calf, he smashed the original tablets out of anger. Later, god said that he would give Moses some new tablets; all he would have to do is spend another 40 days and 40 nights at the top of Mount Sinai again. Moses did so and was given another ten commandments. End of story, right? Wrong. Conspiracy theorists around the globe believe that the first tablets Moses was given contained a different set of rules, specifically internet rules. God, being unaffected by space or time simply got confused and gave Moses the wrong rules. Archaeologists in Tunisia have discovered fragments of these first tablets and have been able to piece together something called Rule #34; the rule we will be discussing at length today, particularly the area of slash fiction.
Rule #34 states that “if it exists, there is porn of it.” On the tablets Moses got, it probably sounded something like this: “if it exists, let there be porn of it.” After searching the internet for two goddamn seconds I have discovered that this rule is incontrovertible.
Slash fiction, for those of you who are blessedly unfamiliar with the term, is a genre of fan fiction that focuses on erotic encounters between two or more fictional characters and often disregards the canon of the series itself. For example, have you ever wondered what it would have been like if, in the Harry Potter series of novels, Harry and Draco/Harry and Snape/Harry and Ron had been involved in sexual relationships with each other? Personally, I wasn’t picking up the homoerotic vibe from those characters, but it seems a lot of people were and are capitalizing on their very loose grip on the English language and reality by writing lengthy pieces of fiction about Harry Potter getting detention in Severus Snape’s S&M dungeon where he will be forced take it in the dark mark repeatedly by a sexually rabid Snape.
To a seasoned veteran of the internet, this strikes me as odd, but acceptable and while it alone doesn’t prove Rule #34, this next example does (and all of this is real, mind you): Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are lovers that also solve mysteries, but this time they’ve come upon something that even they can’t solve: Aliens! Enter Agent K and Agent J from the Men in Black movie, also lovers; together they will team up with the wizard lovers and solve this mystery once and for all. The. Men. In. Black. Seriously?
This phenomenon does not only extend to the Harry Potter franchise, though. There is slash fiction about Twilight, because what if Edward and Jacob hooked up is the one question that rivals “what is the meaning of life?” Slash fiction has also extended its dark tendrils toward the Whedon universe with Angel, Buffy, and Firefly stories. Also, it should be noted that even childhood classics were not left alone as Disney movies are often used, including the classic movie, Homeward Bound. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why all the information about Rule #34, you might ask? Well, because I wanted you to know what you’re up against. You are not safe. None of us are. The next time you’re looking out a window at a tree, its branches waving ever so slightly in the light summer breeze, remember, someone probably photoshopped a mouth onto that tree with a disembodied penis floating close by, poised to ejaculate white lines (courtesy of MS paint) at any second.
Rule #34 states that “if it exists, there is porn of it.” On the tablets Moses got, it probably sounded something like this: “if it exists, let there be porn of it.” After searching the internet for two goddamn seconds I have discovered that this rule is incontrovertible.
Slash fiction, for those of you who are blessedly unfamiliar with the term, is a genre of fan fiction that focuses on erotic encounters between two or more fictional characters and often disregards the canon of the series itself. For example, have you ever wondered what it would have been like if, in the Harry Potter series of novels, Harry and Draco/Harry and Snape/Harry and Ron had been involved in sexual relationships with each other? Personally, I wasn’t picking up the homoerotic vibe from those characters, but it seems a lot of people were and are capitalizing on their very loose grip on the English language and reality by writing lengthy pieces of fiction about Harry Potter getting detention in Severus Snape’s S&M dungeon where he will be forced take it in the dark mark repeatedly by a sexually rabid Snape.
To a seasoned veteran of the internet, this strikes me as odd, but acceptable and while it alone doesn’t prove Rule #34, this next example does (and all of this is real, mind you): Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are lovers that also solve mysteries, but this time they’ve come upon something that even they can’t solve: Aliens! Enter Agent K and Agent J from the Men in Black movie, also lovers; together they will team up with the wizard lovers and solve this mystery once and for all. The. Men. In. Black. Seriously?
This phenomenon does not only extend to the Harry Potter franchise, though. There is slash fiction about Twilight, because what if Edward and Jacob hooked up is the one question that rivals “what is the meaning of life?” Slash fiction has also extended its dark tendrils toward the Whedon universe with Angel, Buffy, and Firefly stories. Also, it should be noted that even childhood classics were not left alone as Disney movies are often used, including the classic movie, Homeward Bound. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why all the information about Rule #34, you might ask? Well, because I wanted you to know what you’re up against. You are not safe. None of us are. The next time you’re looking out a window at a tree, its branches waving ever so slightly in the light summer breeze, remember, someone probably photoshopped a mouth onto that tree with a disembodied penis floating close by, poised to ejaculate white lines (courtesy of MS paint) at any second.
FETISHES
It is often the case that I will be discussing various fetishes and paraphilias with people and someone will offer a comment along the lines of “I’m really into legs/tits/lips” and while these areas of interest are all well and good, I would not exactly categorize them as “fetishes” because to me, and I think to society in general, fetish means something dark and edgy. I’m sure this idea is merely a product of the society we live in and I will concede that it is entirely possible, even probable, that being into legs is a fetish. However, I want to bring to your attention something beyond the vanilla; I want to talk to you about something I’m calling “fringe fetishes” fetishes that are so obscure that I wonder if the general public even knows about them. Or maybe you, dear reader, are feeling urges that fall within the parameters of the fetishes I’m about list and didn’t know what it was called. In that case, let me set your mind at ease.
1. Plushophilia: I’m sure some of you know of this fetish because of that episode of Entourage where Johnny Drama dresses up as a stuffed animal and fucks that girl, but I like to think there is a bit more to it than that. Plushies or “furverts” as they are sometimes referred to are people who are attracted to stuff animals or people dressed as stuffed animals. This fetish can take the form of the individual masturbating with a stuffed animal to the previously mentioned Entourage scenario. The individual may prefer the ubiquitous stuffed bear or they may prefer something a little more anthropomorphic. This isn’t actually all that weird, because who here can say they didn’t have a little thing for Teddy Ruxpin?
2. Burusera: This is not actually that “out there” for people living in Japan, or at any rate it isn’t as obscure as it is in North America. Burusera essentially a panty (this is the ugliest word in the English language, by the way) fetish. Sure, a lot of people like the look (and feel) of female undergarments, but what separates burusera from this innocuous intrigue is the fact that the whole point of burusera is to buy the underwear of young women—18 and over, but you can get younger, unfortunately—and smell them. In Japan you can actually buy used underwear in vending machines and specialty shops, however, since Japan recently passes a law restricting underwear sales to women over the age of 18, some of the more unsavoury individuals in Japan have taken to paying younger girls to simply lift up their skirts and allow them but a sweet, fleeting whiff of their underwear. This fetish has seen some recent popularity in North America as a simple craigslist search brings up many, many listings of used underwear for sale.
3. Hybristophilia: This fetish, often referred to as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome, involves the attraction to people who have committed gruesome crimes. This could explain why many murderers develop fans and admirers that are sexually attracted to them, without knowing anything about them save for the fact that they have killed someone. To all the ladies out there: I once took two pennies from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray. Think about it.
It doesn’t matter if you want to get sodomized by a Care-Bear, sneak a sniff of some undergarments, or get fresh with an axe-murderer, do whatever makes you happy, regardless of social stigma.
1. Plushophilia: I’m sure some of you know of this fetish because of that episode of Entourage where Johnny Drama dresses up as a stuffed animal and fucks that girl, but I like to think there is a bit more to it than that. Plushies or “furverts” as they are sometimes referred to are people who are attracted to stuff animals or people dressed as stuffed animals. This fetish can take the form of the individual masturbating with a stuffed animal to the previously mentioned Entourage scenario. The individual may prefer the ubiquitous stuffed bear or they may prefer something a little more anthropomorphic. This isn’t actually all that weird, because who here can say they didn’t have a little thing for Teddy Ruxpin?
2. Burusera: This is not actually that “out there” for people living in Japan, or at any rate it isn’t as obscure as it is in North America. Burusera essentially a panty (this is the ugliest word in the English language, by the way) fetish. Sure, a lot of people like the look (and feel) of female undergarments, but what separates burusera from this innocuous intrigue is the fact that the whole point of burusera is to buy the underwear of young women—18 and over, but you can get younger, unfortunately—and smell them. In Japan you can actually buy used underwear in vending machines and specialty shops, however, since Japan recently passes a law restricting underwear sales to women over the age of 18, some of the more unsavoury individuals in Japan have taken to paying younger girls to simply lift up their skirts and allow them but a sweet, fleeting whiff of their underwear. This fetish has seen some recent popularity in North America as a simple craigslist search brings up many, many listings of used underwear for sale.
3. Hybristophilia: This fetish, often referred to as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome, involves the attraction to people who have committed gruesome crimes. This could explain why many murderers develop fans and admirers that are sexually attracted to them, without knowing anything about them save for the fact that they have killed someone. To all the ladies out there: I once took two pennies from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny tray. Think about it.
It doesn’t matter if you want to get sodomized by a Care-Bear, sneak a sniff of some undergarments, or get fresh with an axe-murderer, do whatever makes you happy, regardless of social stigma.
SUMMER SEX
Summer is traditionally the season most suited for mad passionate flings and devil may care intercourse, or at least this is what the media has led me to believe. The part that the media leaves out is just how much of a goddamn chore intercourse during the summer is. Thanks to the douche nozzles that own Hummers, the world is heating up and every summer is hotter than the last, so it falls to courageous pioneers like me to continually think outside the box in order to solve the problems that plague those of us who want to have sex during the summer, but would like to remain relatively comfortable.
Considering the fact that one is never sweatier than during the summer, my first suggestion would be to trim/remove lengthy pubic hair. This isn’t because it is more aerodynamically sound than retaining pubic hair, it is because hair traps odors. There is a reason men’s armpits smell worse than a woman’s, it is because of the hair. Trimming pubic hair reduces the likelihood of having your partner’s eyes water whilst reaching for the nose plugs. I’m not saying shave (or wax) all your pubic hair off if you don’t want to, I’m simply saying that you shouldn’t be gratuitous about pubic hair.
As a sub-clause to the above point, I would also suggest washing one’s genitals before engaging in foreplay, because there is nothing more detrimental to the mood than having to force your partner to go to the washroom and wash their fetid vagina/penis. It is a major turn-off to feel like you’re giving oral sex to Swamp Thing.
Secondly, I would consider investing in some season appropriate apparel. I know that when one thinks of sex, one does not think primarily of what they should be wearing, but we’re talking about summer sex, a type of sex that bows to no social norms. Wearing a sweatband during marathon sessions is a thoughtful preventative measure that will ensure you do not blind your partner with sweat dripping from your brow into his/her eye. Furthermore—and this may only apply to the men—when hunched like Gollum behind your partner, it is somewhat upsetting to hear the pitter patter of your sweat dripping onto your partner’s back.
Thirdly, as awesome as it sounds, please resist the urge to have sex in pools/hot tubs or lakes/ponds. In pools and hot tubs, the chemicals in the water reduce the amount of natural vaginal lubrication, causing plenty of discomfort for the female, not to mention that water (and the chemicals in it) is being forcefully pounded into the vagina, often leading to infection. Don’t even get me started on stray band-aids either. In ponds and lakes, there is quite a bit of bacteria, and my general rule, if I were a woman, would be, “if I won’t drink it, I won’t let it go in my vagina.” Also, small fish like minnow can find their way into the woman’s vagina and fertilize a woman’s egg, resulting in mutant fish babies. Beware!
Lastly, consider having sex in front of a fan or an AC unit. I know that sweat releases pheromones that your partner is subconsciously picking up on, but if you’re using sweat as lubricant, it may be time to rethink your position on air conditioning.
LESBIANS
Sex is one of those things that everyone always wants to talk about—myself more so than most—but when it comes to fetishes and fantasies, no one wants to say anything, oftentimes not even to their partner. This is largely because fetishes and fantasies are something dark, something outside the norm. No one’s fetish or fantasy has ever been something as white bread as plain old P in the V sex, instead, fetishes and fantasies are mostly made up of fairly innocuous things like latex, role-playing (not Dungeons & Dragons, though), and maybe a little pain. On the other side of the spectrum there is scat, golden showers, dressing up as stuffed animals, etc. Most of these fetishes and fantasies pale in comparison to the one fetish that is the most nonsensical of them all: lesbians. Ask any man what his ultimate fantasy is and lesbians will almost always have something to do with it. I used to enjoy watching women on the internet embrace their Sapphic side until I realized that the lesbians in my fantasies wanted nothing to do with me because, they were, surprise, lesbians.
From my experience, people men who are “into” lesbians view lesbianism as this fluid thing that will shift when a penis is introduced into the equation and that’s a large part of the lesbian fantasy, in fact, that’s probably all there is to it: the idea that if two women are having sex, they are only doing so because there is not a penis available and if one is produced, the two women will automatically ditch their sexual orientation in favor of pleasuring the male. Some of the men reading this will probably be like, “so what, this is nothing special.” But it is actually something quite special in that I would bet there are very few women who would watch two men having sex and think that the two men would switch from homosexuality to heterosexuality if only her vagina was in the room. This is a phenomenon that is, I believe, limited only to men.
It would be impossible to chastise men for thinking they can “turn” lesbians (and it is not even my goal, really, to do so. I merely seek to educate) because that is what the media has, by and large, led us to believe. In every program I’ve seen (I haven’t seen The L Word) where there is a lesbian character, she will, at some point in the series, sleep with a male whether it be some drunken indiscretion or simply to see what it was like. The media, nefarious beast that it is, sends the message that lesbianism is no stronger than a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon or idle curiosity. Conversely, every homosexual male on television will awkwardly, but politely, rebuff a female’s advances. For many people, through television or film is the only way they will ever interact with the idea of homosexuality, and it is conveying the wrong message, so it is no wonder every male on the face of the planet is a “big fan” of lesbianism, when, in fact, they don’t really know what lesbianism means at all.
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