a shimmering beacon of light in the dark, or, why i won't be firebombing jeff zucker's house anymore.

There are a couple of these faint points of light in the stygian world we share. I am one. The television series "Chuck" is the other. Ever since I saw Chuck's first episode air I knew it would become one of my favorite shows on the entire planet in the history of the galaxy, just because I could self-identify with the eponymous character. Chuck is an awkward man-boy that plays video games and hasn't rebounded from his first heartbreak...years ago. I almost always identify with a character if he or she is awkward and he or she plays video games. I honestly wonder how all these fucking procedural cop shows are getting any viewers because I view television as a twisted sort of alchemy where my feelings are combined with the character's feelings, etc. how many people are like, oh, man, I can totally relate to a detective on the mean streets of New York strong arming "perps" into confessing several murders/rapes. NO ONE. There's very fucking little character development in a show like that, which means people are turning off their minds and lookin at all dem pretty pitchas on the gotdamn screen. Chuck, the television show (and the character), is smart, funny, and dripping with pop culture references. Those are all great things but they are the entire fucking opposite of what the American public craves.

The creator behind Chuck is the prolific Josh Schwartz who has made shows The O.C. and Gossip Girl. I've liked both of those shows until they became utterly convoluted and bad (hey, OC season 3! and to a lesser extent Gossip Girl season 2!) I think JS is like the JJ Abrams of the sexy teen dramedy. He's just gold. But he's never been stronger than he is with Chuck.

As I said before, when I saw Chuck's first episode, I was hooked. Literally counting off the fucking days until Mondays at 8, but I knew that since I loved it so much, someone was going to try and take it from me sooner or later. Now, anyone who watches television knows that Monday's at 8 is the most volatile slot on network television. You're stepping to American Fucking Idol, (and later in the year, HOUSE) and the CBS comedies Big Bang Theory (great show, btw) and How I Met Your Mother (it's okay. love you NPH). American Idol eats competition alive while the general American public applauds, their palms greasy from barefisting hungry man dinners into their perpetually opened maws. Because of the writers strike that happened, Chuck's first season was only 13 or 14 episodes. All good. There were whispers that it would be canceled but thankfully it came back for a full second season. And they took it to the fucking hoop! Every episode was good. I often read the AV club for the television reviews, just to see what they thought, and Chuck episodes rarely fell below an A- or B+. That's an incredible feat. With the show getting rave reviews from everywhere and being featured on critics favorites lists and "top 10 shows you aren't watching" lists (1-10: CHUCK), it would be reasonable to assume the show was going to get picked up for a third season. I mean, it leveled off at about 6.2 million viewers a night, whereas Heroes (a show that used to be good in season 1, not too horrible in season 2 and WTF?! in season 3) only averaged around 6.7 million and had already been renewed. But nooooooo. I'm probably the only person on the face of the earth that was like "FUCK YEAAAAAH MAY 4TH NBC UPFRONTS!!!" Come May 4th and there had been no news on Chuck. The internet had been whipped into a fury about a month before when it became clear that Chuck was on the bubble and even television critics were beseeching NBC as well as fans sending in NERDS candy to NBC HQ and purchasing 5 dollar footlongs from Subway (one of Chuck's main sponsors)

Waiting.........

There was no news until a couple days ago. Chuck has been renewed!!!! Before you start whooping and cheering about a victory for the little guy, let me tell you the caveat. Only a 13 episode season with an option for NBC to order a back 9, cut two staff writers, cut the budget, lose one minor-ish actor (though, if you watch Chuck you know they're all indispensible) and that's it. OH WAIT, THEY'RE NOT PUTTING IT ON THE SCHEDULE UNTIL AFTER THE 2010 OLYMPICS (TEN MONTHS FROM NOW). It's some bullshit, but I want Chuck bad enough to put up with some shit and if this is their final season I will be sad, but I will have seen it coming. Who goes from a 13 episode order to a full order the next season? who even gets a next season? (other than dullhouse).

What I find hard to stomach is that Chuck is so much better than Heroes, yet NBC picks up Heroes BEFORE upfronts. I know why they did it, because NBC owns Heroes whereas Chuck is owned by the WB, but still if Heroes is bad television with ever-slipping ratings, why the shit would you even bother?

Oh, and the reason Chuck and all these other shows on NBC were on the bubble? Fucking Jay Leno. He has a 10 o'clock slot now. Give it a rest, Leno. I thought you were funny when I was 14, but now your giggling and repetition of jokes makes me want to drive a rusty nail into my urethra so my anguished screams will drown out your bullshit monologues. What a dick.

I want to finish by telling, not asking, you all to watch Chuck and you won't be disappointed. Maybe if you cut out on of the three episodes of CSI (CSI, CSI MIAMI, CSI: NY) you're watching, you'll give this show a chance.

Oh, and you're safe for this season, Zucker. I'll review your case again next year.